BerkeleyPC

Check out this 9/11 conspiracy theory and tell me if you don’t think it ludicrous:

On September 11, 2001, 19 arab men who had never flown planes before, and who’s leader was living in a cave in Afghanistan, hijacked 4 jet airplanes armed only with boxcutters, took over the controls and then pulled off their attack plan, thereby, defeating the world’s most sophisticated air defense system.  (For 2 hours none of these hijacked planes were engaged during the 2 hour time window.  Normally, engagement takes place within 10 to 20 minutes.)

These non-pilots were then able to fly the planes better than professional pilots who have been flying for 30 years say they’d be able to do and, not to mention, pull off maneuvers that professional pilots say are not possible in 757’s or 767’s.

Then a miracle happens and 3 steel framed buildings become the first steel framed buildings in history to fall due to fire. 

So let’s say you hear this story for the first time without ever seeing or hearing anything about the ‘terrorist attack of 9/11′, would you believe it?  No, of course not, because it is a ridiculous story. 

So, wake the fuck up and start demanding the truth!

Or, just be an idiot.  Your choice!

Thank the universe for Mayor Michael Bloomberg who called a summer-long suspension of the gas tax favored by Democrat Hillary Rodham Clinton and Republican John McCain a dumb idea. Hillary is running the same kind of pandering bs campaign her husband won on. We need real solutions not people trying to buy our votes. Don’t stand for it.

read more | digg story

It was sad to hear that a homeless man in Berkeley who did a good deed by removing the hose running from a cars  tailpipe into the drivers side window had that good deed undone.

It seems that the homeless man then flagged down a Berkeley police officer who attempted to smash the window so that ’the guy in the Subaru’, as he’s referred to in the sflist article, could breathe something other than the “thick fog like cloud of carbon monoxide” for awhile.  Well, apparently ‘the guy in the Subaru’ didn’t appreciate a police officer attempting to smash his windows in and pressed his foot on the accelerator and took off.

This of course enticed the police officers, Sargent Patty Delaluna and Amber Phillips, to get into their cars and chase him. I’m not sure what crime ‘the guy in the Subaru’ was guilty of at that point… attempted suicide?  I do believe suicide is illegal but is attempted suicide illegal?  Or maybe its just the instinctual reaction that all police officers have, when someone runs, they chase. It seems police officers resemble cougars in that regard. 

Anyway, chase him they did until he crossed from the “…northbound lanes into the southbound lanes of The Alameda at speeds of at least 80 mph and hit a parked BMW before plowing into a parked Honda.”

It seems the truck went airborne and flipped over, landing on it’s top and killing the suicidal man.  So at this point “the guy in the Subaru” is definitely guilty, but we’re not sure what the punishment is for suicide. 

Seargent Mary Kusmiss said: “This is one of the most dramatic collisions we’ve seen in a very long time…”  We’re trying to get footage as we believe the one of the officers may have been leaning out the window of the police vehicle with her camcorder and filming the entire chase. 

But if there must be a moral to the story we would say that driving after inhaling carbon monoxide gas can result in erratic behavior and poor judgement. Also, the “thick fog like cloud of carbon monoxide” could most likely make it hard to see very well.  If you’ve ever been to a bar in Ann Arbor, Michigan, you probably have a clue as to what it must have been like.  Your eyes burn and water from all the smoke making it hard to see who might be cruising you, not to mention that your clothes wreak when you get home… but I doubt if ‘the guy in the Subaru’ cared about his clothes smelling like exhaust fumes.

We at BerkeleyPC will always wonder what would have happened had the homeless man just pulled the hose out of the tailpipe and kept the police out of it. But of course we’ll never know the answer to that now will we.

A friend of BerkeleyPC’s has reported a sighting on Vine Street right across the street from the store she works at name La Terrestria. 

She had come out from the back and saw a white guy leaning against his Cadillac talking on his cell phone and wearing a ‘Do-Rag’.  He had a huge gold medallion hanging around his neck and big puffy white pants. 

When our friend saw him she got excited and grabbed her co-worker from the back so they could both look at him together.  When they got to the front and looked across they heard “What are you white bitches looking at?” Then into his phone he says, “I’m up here in North Berkeley and there’s some uppity white bitches at the store across the street staring at me.” 

We believe he may be in the early stages of a ‘Race Change’ procedure. 

We would like to hear from our other loyal readers that may have encountered this racial anomaly.  Also we would like a better description and pictures if you can get them and we’ll be glad to reward you with our John McCain 2008 Bumper Sticker pictured below:

Ok, so what was missing from the ABC Democratic Debates with Charlie Gibson and George Stephanopoulos last night? 

First off I think they could have used those meandering circus spotlights and the circus music that starts off The Show Must Go On by 3 Dog Night.  The opening narration though couldn’t have been better, except maybe a couple of ‘Step right this way!’s and an ‘Enjoy the show!”

Then of course it would have been better if George Stephanopoulos and Charlie Gibson had been dressed up in clown suits and Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama had been balancing on tight rope wires above a lions cage.

Of course to fully show how ridiculously lopsided the whole thing was, Barack would also have to dodge those big swinging balls that you see the muslclemen on Gladiator throwing at contestants as they try to cross from one platform of safety to the next.

And then finally, Ryan Seacrest could have come on at the very end and asked everyone to text their votes for Hillary or Barack, ‘Just text the number 1 for Hillary and the number 974320723407234909002340 for Barack.’

Charlie Gibson lost any hope for the illusion of  ‘journalistic integrity’ when he let out an audible scoff of incredulity after Barack said he had never been for an all out ‘ban’ on handguns. 

I would have loved to have been their live for the hotdogs and balloons.   O0ooh, and the cotton candy.  That would have sealed the deal. 

Hope you all are enjoying seeing our democracy at work.  And to all you young voters who aren’t jaded yet, don’t worry, after this election you will be, because there is not a snowball’s chance in hell that the powerbrokers are going to let all the work they have done to secure the oil fields of Iraq to be undone by Barack or Hillary. 

We’ve had one false flag event and if they have to do it they’ll have another before the election.  And if that doesn’t seem to work and they are worried that they can’t fix the election, then they will declare martial law.  A lot went into getting us into Iraq to secure the oil, so to believe that now they will walk away and let all that work be undone is pretty naive.

Sorry babes, just the facts.  Oh, and I know I missed the title that was used by ABC: ’Democrats Debate’.

Why is that important? It has to do with the Republican talking points.  They are requiring all of their media outlets and frontmen to refer to the ‘Democratic’ Party as the ‘Democrat’ Party.  It seems that ‘Democratic’ Party polls too well.  Therefore The ‘Democratic’ Debate becomes The ‘Democrats’ Debate.  Other than that being totally ridiculous, it also gives you a clue as to the bias of the media outlet and talking heads.

I know this probably won’t be politcally correct but it was scary and as hard as I try, I just don’t know if I can fit into the PC Berkeley culture.  Sorry if the name of the blog has mislead you.  BerkeleyPC it seems is more about my trying to understand and fit in to Berkeley culture than it is about explaining how to do it. 

Anyway, here’s the frightening experience I had.  I was parked by the Berkeley YMCA which is right across the street from the Post Office.  I went in and got my mail, (oh yeah, check out the other frightening mail experience), and when I came back across I was about to get in my car and a …  woman??,  man??,  thing?? Cousin It??…. I’m sorry but I’m not sure what to put here.  It was something shaped like ‘Cousin It’ in a black Burka.  All I saw was a black head covering, something resembling a screen window over the face which didn’t allow you to see inside at all, and a black gown that covered everything, you couldn’t even see the feet.  It looked just like the one pictured only black, and it was walking down the sidewalk on the other side of the street. 

Then once I saw it and it saw me see it, it changed direction and jaywalked across the street right at me.  I nearly screamed. I wasn’t sure whether to run or stay and fight, but I knew if I stayed there could be an explosion, and I would be in pieces, so I figured that wouldn’t be the right thing to do.  But by the time I figured out running was the best thing to do, I realized it was too late.  There was no way I could get out of blast range in time.

So instead I froze with my hand on the car door and watched its every step.  It may have looked in my direction, I felt a glance but nothing indicated that it had turned it’s head so it must have been moving its eyes as it continued in front of my car and then down the sidewalk.

As I got in my car I was glad I didn’t run.  I was certain if I had done that, that it would have chased me and then let its finger off the trigger as soon as it was close enough.  Or if I got to a police officer first it would claim that I had tried to rape it and then disappear as I was explaining to the cop that the reason I was running was because I was afraid she, he or it might explode.

So that was my scary experience.  I apologize to all of the innocent Burka wearing Berkeley-ites who might be offended by this post.  I’m trying really hard.  Really, really hard. 

I’m greeted with a picture of Bill and Hillary smiling and waving to the cameras.  In the background are some beautiful green trees, the sun is shining down and Hillary’s hair looking very blonde and Bill’s silver hair looking like a halo…  The image looks like its right off the front cover of an AARP monthly mag or a commercial for Depends, I’m not sure which.

And the title is
“Hill and Bill: We Aren’t Going Anywhere.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Who says that Walmart doesn’t care about their employees?  BerkeleyPC has just learned that Walmart purchases life insurance for its employees.  From the highest level manager to the janitor, life insurance is purchased for you when you go to work there. 

I know what you’re thinking, what’s the catch right?  Such cynicism….. Have you ever thought that maybe they aren’t as evil as people say they are?

Well then certainly they must require employees to pay at least half of the premium?  Nope, not one red cent!  And, they don’t even require you to sign up for it.  Just by becoming a Walmart employee you are immediately enrolled.

Sound too good to be true?  Ok, there is one little, tiny snag with the whole thing.  Walmart gets to pick the beneficiary.  Yep, they decide who gets the reward when you mysteriously kick the bucket.  So while they could put it in the name of say… your next of kin… that appears to not really be happening.  In fact as far as BerkeleyPC can determine, Walmart is the beneficiary on 100% of the life insurance policies they purchase. 

Now if you currently work at Walmart and you receive a bad review and/or a reprimand along with the threat that you need to clean up your act or face termination, you might want to respond by asking: “What do you mean by that?”

But if you’re looking for suggestions we recommend that you change your identity and sneak off to another country.  I mean do you really think they would tell you that they were planning on collecting on your policy?  Probably not! 

Here’s some links so you can read more about Walmart’s benefits program:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/666837/posts
http://www.tbo.com/news/metro/MGB5SEJVN3F.html

Have a great day and thank you for shopping at Walmart!

Thanks to BerkeleyPC for allowing me to write for this blog.

I’d like to discuss the topic of open-minded-ness.  Is that a word?  Anyway, do you consider yourself open minded?  What do you say to someone who brings up topics that you’ve long ago dismissed as believed by the ‘lunatic fringe’ or ‘conspiracy theorists’?  We certainly all have lines that we won’t cross when it comes to believability of new ideas or theories don’t we.

If someone brought up the subject of UFO’s for instance would you immediately think ‘whacko’?  Read the rest of this entry »

Hi Barack, Bulldog here!.  I seem to have lost your email invitation for dinner.  <wink, wink>.  Due to that I”m unable to respond in kind so I’m posting my response here.  I do hope you find it. Yes I would love to have dinner with you.  I’m assuming it will just be us and the reporters will be nowhere in sight.  I have my outfit all picked out.  A cute little lace number with velcro snaps so we can easily pick up the ….conversation… at my hotel afterwards. 

And don’t worry about being gentle with me.  They don’t call me bulldog for nothing. 

Hope you get this!